Castlevania Review

Here is where it all started. You, Simon Belmont, must journey into the heart of Castlevania to destroy Dracula once and for all. Well, the original is still the best!

STORY: 5/5. Great story! Go in. Kill all who oppose you. Very simple and easy to understand.

GRAPHICS: 5/5. Incredible! Remember folks, this was the NES. When this came out, these graphics were top-notch. Sure, they made some better graphics for the NES later on, but this was when the Nintendo had very few titles to choose from. Coolest Graphics: Death and Dracula.

MUSIC: 5/5. The music is one area where this game really shines. It starts out good at the beginning with the classic "Vampire Killer" track. Each level has its own music and it is all good. One 8-bit tune from anywhere in this game kicks "Harmony of Dissonance"'s butt anyday.

HERO: 5/5. Here we had a guy with a relatively normal name: Simon. I mean come on, this is a hero we could RELATE to. This was no wimp like some of the other Belmonts have turned out to be.

PLAY CONTROL: 5/5. I am so sick of all these CHUMPS complaining, "Wahhh, wahhh, there's no midair jump control! Wahhh, wahhh, the controls are sluggish..." To all of you GIRLIE MEN, I say to you, "Get a life!" You know what? Sorry people, but midair jump control does not exist in real life. Once you leave the ground, you really don't have much say in what happens next until you hit the ground. And the controls in this game are tight. They are straight to the point. Left goes left. Right goes right. B does a weapon. B+Up does a special weapon. A jumps. Up and Down go up and down stairs. What's not to love about simple controls that are economical and make sense? Nowadays you have to have a freakin' college degree to figure out what all the buttons do on the controllers we've got now.

STYLE: 5/5. The mood and style of this game are killer. Who wouldn't want to crawl around a creepy castle and whack a few bats with a whip? That's just good wholesome fun right there. And who wouldn't want to hit a giant head over and over? That's great stress relief. The mood of this game is just right. It is about as scary as games like that got back then.

GAMEPLAY: 5/5. The gameplay is absolutely great. There was nothing else like it at the time. It created a new style of play all it's own, and the games that followed and copied it such as Ninja Gaiden really shined.

CHALLENGE: 5/5. Let's be blunt here. This game is difficult. It will not be beaten on your first try. But all of you WIMPS and CRYBABIES out there who to complain about that need to take your stupid complaints somewhere else. Hey, we used to spend $40 to $50 bucks on these games, remember? If you can beat the stupid thing in 2 hours, that would have been a total waste of money. Plus, the game is not THAT hard after all. I've beaten it, and I'm not the only one. The enemies all follow a definite pattern. The question is, do you have the patience to learn the patterns and earn that sweet taste of 8-bit victory in all its glory?

FUN FACTOR: 5/5. This game rocks. This is the best game of all time. It is the best game ever created. There were no cooler games before this one, and there have been no cooler games since. And after seeing all the CRAP coming out these days, I believe that no one will ever create a cooler game. But this is more than just a game. It is a way of life. It is a gift from God to all mankind.

HOW TO BEAT IT:

The game is not that hard to beat. If you can get to the bosses, here's how to beat them:

1. GIANT BLOOD-SUCKING BAT. The first one's a pushover. Just grab the axe and whack him. Any 5-year old can beat this one.

2. BUTT-UGLY MEDUSA HEAD. Not too hard either. Just use the watch to stop her and then hit her with your whip. Or of you've got the holy water, use that.

3. DOUBLE MUMMIES - THE LOST DISCO DANCERS. By this time, you may have noticed that the game has started to become a little more difficult. Not to fear, have confidence, young Belmont! For remember, you are a POWER PLAYER, an elite member of the NINTENDO FUN CLUB. It's not hard to beat the mummies, even without a weapon. Here's what to do. There's a pork chop hidden in the room. Whatever you do, DON'T get it. You need that block to stand on. First, jump into the room. Walk to the center to activate the mummies. Then immediately walk back to the left and jump on top of the blocks where they can't hit you. Wait for the mummy underneath you to walk to your right. When they are both a relatively safe distance away, stand on top of the lowest block (the one with the pork chop), kneel, and start hitting them. If they come close, jump back, wait again, and repeat.

4. FRONK-EN-STEEN AND EAGER IGOR. If you have gotten this far, then you are doing pretty good. You've got what it takes to beat this game, my man. The best way to beat Frankenstein is to use the holy water. You've only got one chance in the game to get it. It's located on the starting level. Just get it, hold onto it, and concentrate on getting to the boss without dying. If you get there, stand on the lower right ledge and throw it over and over. It will kill him quick.

5. DEATH (DON'T FEAR THE REAPER). This is one of the hardest bosses of all time for any game. The main thing to do is learn how to get to the boss with a full meter of health. It may seem really hard but it's not. On the last screen, you face axmen and flying medusas. All you have to do is stand up straight and keep whipping. Whip nonstop. You must hit every single ax that is thrown at you. If you are in the center of the screen, the medusas will just fly right over your head. The thing to do is once you hit one or once one passes, move forward a few steps. Take it very SLOW at first. Don't try to move quickly or kill the axman. Just slowly move, bit by bit, after each head goes by. After a few minutes of this, you will be past the axmen with full health. To beat Death, you MUST have a weapon. If you can pick up the ax at the beginning and survive all the way to the end, that is a good weapon. The best weapon is the holy cross. To really use it, you've got to be lucky enough to pick up a double or triple shot. Be careful not to pick up any daggers or watches that the flying medusas drop. Once you get to Death, stand in the middle. Jump up in the air and throw the cross, then move to the left to dodge the sickles. Immediately throw another cross or use your whip to hit the sickles you dodged. Concentrate on hitting sickles before they hit you; it is your only defense. And keep that cross moving! Put the maximum possible out at once. It is your weapon that is going to kill Death.

6. THE COUNT, PART I. This guy is tough. Just 4 hits and you're dead. It will take lots of practice to beat him. Luckily, if you've made it this far, your continues will start you right at the last boss. Not that that helps that much. Dracula is difficult. You have to learn to time your jumps just right. Look for him to solidify. Wait for an instant. Then jump up and hit him in the head. If you timed it right then his bullets will pass over your head harmlessly. Concentrate on moving out of the way because he constantly wants to warp right on top of you. Try to learn to beat him without losing any health, because you are definitely going to need it for Part II. Also, don't use the cross. Get the holy water. Don't use it on him now. You will need it later.

7. THE COUNT, PART II. Is it over? Is he dead yet? Nope. At this point, you will probably feel like smashing your controller into your TV screen. Resist the urge. Just throw some holy water on him to slow him down, and rapidly jump and whip him in the face. He is hard to dodge, so you will probably take a few hits. Keep wearing him down, and you will win!!!

8. THE SECOND QUEST. If you thought the game was hard before, you ain't seen nothing yet baby!

Konami, PLEASE release a Castlevania collection disc for Gamecube. Include Castlevania 1, 2, and 3 from the NES, and part 4 from the Super Nintendo. PLEASE!!! You owe it to your loyal fans!!!


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